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behind_th_smile
16 March 2010 @ 04:02 am
You're bitch
You're innocent

You're vengeful
You're peaceful

You like making things difficult
You're understanding ( at least trying to)
When at the end of the day , you'd just want everything to be fine

You're a nuisance
You're vulgar, rude.
You're quiet ( so that you'd not accidentally spew vulgarities)

You're unwanted
You're wanted

Ha, it doesnt matter.
You're the one hurt.


Suddenly, my mind started to function ( properly) through its 4am now. Just thought of the many changes that I'd wanna make. Sigh, one step at a time girl :)
 
 
Current Mood: confusedconfused
 
 
behind_th_smile
15 March 2010 @ 06:32 pm
I just realized how much one's decision can influence another  person's decision. Suddenly I dont feel like doing what Im suppose to do. I dont know if its just this temporary feeling. Nah, dont consider the injuries im having now. Besides that,  I guess another reason, or perhaps excuse is the people there. Dont feel belonged, dont feel loved. I very much want to make use of this week as for the next 2 weeks I wont be able to dance due to my overseas trip. Sigh, it was just a sudden emotion that hit me. Question is , "will it stay in me for long?" . Oh man, the heavy load effect is acting upon my heart. I very much want to go home and just chill out and think in silence.

Once, I saw us. Coming to together. And training together as one. But all I see now,  is us falling apart ):
 
 
Current Mood: scaredscared
 
 
behind_th_smile
14 March 2010 @ 02:42 am
What I had to say, I have said it all.
Its your choice if you wanna accept it
Running away, avoiding was never the solution
Because the problem will catch up with you soon before you know it.

Im still uncertain about your decisions
Im not expecting an immediate change
But I would at least like to see some effort, at least.

I cant bring myself to expect something, anticipate something
Because I dont want my hopes to be dragged down.

Sigh Weiling, time to sleep.
Time to not bother anymore?
I dont know, But for now, i'd just leave it as it is.
Your choice to decide what you should do.

You're not a kid, you're not a robot.
 
 
Current Mood: gloomygloomy
 
 
behind_th_smile
13 March 2010 @ 01:42 am
Some knows half the story
Some knows the begining & the end
Some has twisted the story
Some has heard the twisted story
But I guess all the matters is that I know the story best.
and I've never lied to myself :)
 
 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
behind_th_smile
04 March 2010 @ 02:25 am
I had an awesome time at marina barage , an awesome time playing L4D2, an awesome dinner , an awesome night walk. (:(:

Reality hit me hard on the ground. & I dont know where to look.
Demoralized once again. Is all my hard work and effort worth only this bit?

You promised You'd provide
And I am holding on to that
I just wanna see Your power come through
So there's no way I can deny Your glory.

I am praying for a miracle here


 
 
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
 
 
behind_th_smile
02 March 2010 @ 02:52 am
Im feeling so at ease and happy because Im feeling back to normal!  Im glad we're very open with each other. Im glad you didnt react in a hostile manner. Im glad you didnt walked out when you had all the right to. Im glad you stayed and comfort me.  Im glad you're putting in all your effort to change for the right reason. Im glad you're at times there for me but somehow I dont see it or reject it on purpose because of my paranoid character & insecurity. Im just glad that the tides have calmed. Thats all. & I wanna thank God for it. I dont know how and what He did. But all I know was that He was involved in making things right for me.


Back to normal, finally, after a month!
 
 
Current Mood: relievedrelieved
 
 
behind_th_smile
01 March 2010 @ 02:46 am
Squeezed out all my brain juice to type out what I felt.
What a message.
 
 
 
behind_th_smile
01 March 2010 @ 12:50 am
What can I do- The Corrs

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let go
And who knows I might feel better, yeah
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting, no more, aching
No more fighting, no more, trying...

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just going to let it fly...

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I change to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

And love me...love me....love me..




Emotionally, very drained.
Well, I'd just go and sleep very soon
Insensitivity kills, if you didnt know.
I feel that Im taken for granted, a million of times
When Im pissed, then you are damn nice
And after that you'd just heck it when you THINK that everything's fine.
Forgiveness is a process too, its not a one day decision.

Worth it? No. Deserve it? Not at all.
 
 
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
 
 
behind_th_smile
25 February 2010 @ 12:35 am
 
Shopped to destress, ended up shop til no mood to study. weiling ah weilinggggggg. SLAP ME!
 
 
behind_th_smile
24 February 2010 @ 01:30 pm
I am so pissed off with myself. I SCREWED THE HRM PAPER SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BADLY. LIKE REALLLLLLLYYYY BADLY ): OMG. I really wanna bang my head on the wall ): but at the same time, I could at least write stuff for half of the questions that I didnt know how to do, really thank God. But,  Argh, I dont know ):  OK, I guess I shall force myself to put this thought aside for the sake of my last paper. Sigh. Well, all I can do is pray. There shall be no excuses, if I was ever distracted.
 
 
 
Current Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable